I Practice

I practice meditation. The people in my meditation group (sangha) call it sitting practice or just sitting. I don't talk about it much, but sometimes I'll mention to a friend that I met with my meditation group.  I’m often kind of surprised that they don’t ask questions about it, but I’m relieved too.  I'm not sure what to say about a decision to sit in silence just trying to focus on my breath.

Media reports talk of how meditation improves blood pressure, stress, and health in general.  I always find these reports alarming.  They seem to imply that without meditation, I would be even sicker and crazier than I am now.

Last week I attended a meditation retreat from Wednesday evening until Sunday noon.  Most of that time, I did not speak.  There were a lot of scheduling difficulties involved in going away for these days, so I talked about my plans more than usual, and people did comment.  It sounded like they pictured me spending that time in a peaceful trance.  Actually some of the time was wonderfully peaceful.  But sometimes, it was boring—so boring.  And tiring too.  I’m not used to sitting so much and for the last meditation after dinner, I could hardly get comfortable.  I did find it interesting how well I slept—I thought this an indication of what hard work meditation is.

So, why do I do it?  One of the basics in the introduction to meditation is, we meditate to discover our true nature and to learn that we are not separate from anything.  Does that happen?  Did it happened last week?  Yes and no.  I was in touch with great feelings of tenderness toward the people in the meditation room, tenderness toward the house we stayed in and the beautiful snowy grounds. But I knew I would go home and struggle to hold onto that tenderness.  As I expected, it doesn’t come as easily in the "real world," but it hasn’t gone away either.  And the memory of the retreat’s intense tenderness speaks to me of a reassuring truth about my connectedness to the world.  I am very moved and nourished by that.

Do I recommend meditation practice?  Yes, if it speaks to you, check it out.  If you think it should speak to you, but it doesn’t quite, you might read about it to help you make your decision.  I probably read about meditation and the philosophy that goes with it for three or four years before I actually seriously tried it.  I personally think it’s not the cure-all touted in popular media with claims of relaxation and pain relief.  Paradoxically, I think it’s better than those claims.  It has given me a sense of belongingness to this life, both to the “good” and “bad.”  I think this will get stronger. That's good.

This video "The Fruits of Zen Practice" explains it in a more organized fashion than I do.