Tuesday, September 13, 2005

More About the Soft Heart

Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, speaks of a state of being that Buddhists call Bodhichitta. She says it means “completely open heart” and is also “called the soft spot, a place as vulnerable and tender as an open wound.” After spending the summer watching death, this speaks to me, and I have noticed often that my feelings are tender, and that seems a sweet place to be.

On the other hand, there are things that frustrate or anger or hurt me that I am not tender about. I try to separate myself from them. I resist the open heart. I love what Chodron says about those walls of separation that seems to come from nowhere:

Rather than going after those walls and barriers with a sledgehammer, we pay attention to them. With gentleness and honesty, we move closer to those walls. We touch them and smell them and get to know them well. We begin a process of acknowledging our aversions and our cravings…We start to get curious about what’s going on…We can observe ourselves with humor, not getting overly serious, moralistic, or uptight about this investigation.

Some days, I can’t muster up the distance to observe myself like this, but when I can, it feels good. It’s fun.

(The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron, 4-11)

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