The Sad Anniversary of Sandy Hook

On December 14, 2012, Adam Lanza shot and killed 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  Shortly after that I revived this blog and posted  information about guns and gun regulation along with suggestions for ways I thought gun use in this country could be safer.  I wrote letters to elected officials asking for change.  Two years later national regulations have not progressed though some states have made progress.  I became discouraged.  Some even believe the country has become more pro-gun these last two years.

Here in South Bend, a few Sundays ago on the anniversary of Sandy Hook, there was a community forum held as a culminating event for the annual Gun Violence Prevention Sabbath, organized by Faiths United to Prevent Gun Violence, partnering with Mamas Against Violence and Community for Peace and Nonviolence.  I have been so lethargic about the issue I almost didn’t go.  However, I did, and it was a moving event that re-energized my commitment to gun safety.

The event was, first of all, a remembrance of all victims and survivors of gun violence, especially local violence here in South Bend.  A number of speakers talked of their experiences of losing a loved one to gun violence. However, the forum was also a call to action and legislatures and law enforcement people spoke as well.  I will write about more of this information in future posts.  For now, here is a site to help you find some your politicians at the state level.

Read about the above sculpture here.

Reset

I have not been thinking about writing these last few weeks.  Now, I think I want to return to some political issues.  However, before I do, I want to include a reflection sent by a friend—I can’t find the original source.

If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things; if we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi? Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds? Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary? For each one of us, there is a desert to travel. A star to discover. And a being within ourselves to bring to life.

Happy New Year!

A History of Heartbreak

You don’t have to believe in the innocence of either Michael Brown or Darren Wilson to be moved by the pain of the situation in Ferguson, Missouri.  Yesterday’s NYT column by Charles Blow talks of the background that makes it so difficult to see this as an individual case and not just part of a long, sad history.

Some simply saw protests marred by senseless violence. I saw that, to be sure, and my heart hurt seeing it. But I also saw decades, generations, centuries of pain and frustration erupting once more into view. I saw hearts crying and souls demanding to be heard, to be seen, to be valued….

Even long-suffering people will not suffer forever. Patience expires. The heart can be broken only so many times before peace is broken. And the absence of peace doesn’t predicate the presence of violence. It does, however, demand the troubling of the comfortable. When the voice goes unheard, sometimes it must be raised. Sometimes when calls for justice go unmet, feet must meet pavement. Sometimes when you are unseen, you can no longer remain seated. Sometimes you must stand and make a stand.

Bidding for Attention

An article I read recently introduced me to a new relationship term—bidding.  Two social scientists, studying marriages and the way couples relate, describe it like this:

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: he’s requesting a response from his wife — a sign of interest or support — hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.

Reason and Ideas

This excerpt from In the Way of Zen by Alan Watts was posted yesterday in The Dish, Andrew Sullivan’s blog.  It seems to make some of the world’s craziness just a little bit more understandable.  

 It was a basic Confucian principle that ‘it is man who makes truth great, not truth which makes man great.’ For this reason, ‘humanness’ or ‘human-heartedness’ was always felt to be superior to ‘righteousness’, since man himself is greater than any idea he may invent. There are times when men’s passions are much more trustworthy than their principles. Since opposed principles, or ideologies, are irreconcilable, wars fought over principle will be wars of mutual annihilation. But wars fought for simple greed will be far less destructive, because the aggressor will be careful not to destroy what he is fighting to capture.

Reasonable – that is, human – men will always be capable of compromise, but men who have dehumanized themselves by becoming the blind worshipers of an idea or an ideal are fanatics whose devotion to abstractions makes them the enemies of life.