Who am I?

Ten days ago I did another four-day silent meditation retreat.  One of the first things our teacher said was, “You are here to find out who you really are.”  That’s a mysterious and esoteric quest.  Of course I know who I am.  Sort of.  But when I spend a day barely talking and without TV, radio, email, books, phone calls, and so on, the question gets stressful.  You might say, well it’s a silly premise, not doing the things that make up “real life.”   I thought that at times.  But it’s also silly to think I am merely that person being busy or entertained.  Under all that, there must be something deeper, something more meaningful.  A retreat helps me understand that though it is hard to put into words.  I wrote after the last retreat that I felt tenderer about people, nature, the magnificent, and the mundane.  This time I found myself reflecting curiously about the makeup of my life:  What activities are distractions?  And what takes me deeper into the mysterious, illusive unity of the universe?