Special Interest Group: Americans Who Don't Want to Be Shot

I haven't said much lately about U.S gun policy though I'm tired of the mass shootings and tired of hearing about crimes in Chicago being committed with guns from Indiana. Here satire writer Andy Borowitz has a few things to say:

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Americans who are opposed to being shot, a constituency that has historically failed to find representation in Washington, are making a new effort to make its controversial ideas heard in the nation’s capital....Carol Foyler, founder of the lobbying group Americans Opposed to Being Shot,...believes that the right to not be shot, much like women’s right to vote, the right to same-sex marriage, and other rights that were deemed controversial in their day, may be an idea whose time has finally come.“For years, we’ve been talking about the right to not be shot and people have been looking at us like we’re out of our minds,” she said. “But recent polls show that a vast majority of Americans, in fact, do not want to be shot.”

While Foyler and other anti-being-shot activists believe that Washington may finally be receptive to their radical ideas, Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice-president of the National Rifle Association, is doubtful. “People who don’t want to be shot are a very narrow interest group,” he said.