How am I today? Just fine--wretched.

For the last few months, I've been surprisingly peaceful and happy.  However, through this almost blissful time, I have kept in mind the adage, “this too shall pass.”  Since Tuesday I have a hideous and at times alarming cough.  My temperature fluctuates between normal, chills, and fever.  Is it possible to be peaceful, happy, and sick?

 

I think, yes and no.  On one level, I’m miserable.  On another level, this is, in some weird way, fine because—hey!—it’s life.  And, this too shall pass. 

 

I went on line for some wisdom from Pema Chӧdrӧn and found this:

 

Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness--life's painful aspect—softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose—you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together. 

Her words are helpful, and I feel their truth.  I’m obnoxious enough as it is.  If life were glorious all the time, I know I would be unbearable.  So, I’ll drink some tea, take some drugs, and, as much as possible, accept my wretchedness.