Wednesday, May 29, 2013

What You Said

If I could incorporate into my life Marshall Rosenberg’s ideas, expressed below, I would spend less time worrying and more time being happy.  As it is, I like what he says, but I'm not sure I believe it. 
…As we’ve seen, all criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feeling and needs behind a message.  The more we practice in this way, the more we realize a simple truth: behind all those messages we’ve allowed ourselves to be intimidated by are just individuals with unmet needs appealing to us to contribute to their well-being.  When we receive messages with this awareness, we never feel dehumanized by what others have to say to us.  We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.  As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggests, “What will they think of me?” must be put aside for bliss.”  We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain. 

From Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg.


2 comments:

Unknown said...

which part do you not believe?

MAL said...

The part that's hard to believe is whether I would be able to have this attitude of generosity instead of feeling offended.